Today's guest post is by Denise Duffield-Thomas.
I LOVE her way of looking at the world and could stay on her website for hours - go check her out at DeniseDuffieldThomas.com
How many times a week do you think or say "I feel so guilty"?
Based on my totally unscientific but highly observant study of women all around the world, I'd say a lot. Women from all socio-economic backgrounds, introverts and extroverts alike all experience this yucky squirmy feeling on a frequent basis.
And about some really random stuff that in the grand scheme of things, doesn't matter a bit.
Why the hell are we feeling so guilty all of the time?
It got me thinking - how much of our day is consumed with feeling guilty over inconsequential things and why is it we feel equally guilty over things we have control over vs no control?
Eleanor Roosevelt's famous quote, "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent" made me realise the same is true for guilt.
Nobody can make you feel guilty without your consent,
so stop giving it away so freely!
- Denise Duffield-Thomas
It's extremely rare you'll hear a man saying anything about guilt. Like "I was so naughty at lunch, I had a piece of cake!" or "I feel guilty if I take some time for myself".
A guilty pleasure isn't much of a pleasure at all.
Mainstream media just perpetuates the problem. How many ads for ordinary household products are shown as luxurious and special for women? Anything from shower gel, air-fresheners, carpet or floor coverings, dish-washing liquid and laundry detergent. Radox introduced their shower "smoothies" with names likeSoul Soother and remember how popular Bath Bombs were as a present a few years ago?
I don't know about you, but my soul is rarely soothed from washing myself with some nice smelling body-wash.
What's that got to do with guilt?
Women in ads are shown getting high satisfaction from having a spotless toilet or a germ free counter top and then "indulging" in time off to read a magazine or eat a piece of chocolate. Most of these products are cheap and mass produced, but we're told they are a "treat"
And don't get me started on the sensationalist media on "Mommy Wars" and endless debates about whether we're doing things properly - breastfeeding, dieting, house-keeping, sex, grooming, etc
Of course there's more to it than that - generations of women have passed down the guilt gene. Mothers have it the worst, but most women have it - and not to bash guys - but they seem to benefit from women feeling guilty.
Let's put a stop to it.Seriously - let's just stop.
I made the decision to simply stop feeling guilty - and it's pretty cool. I can easily go to the movies in the middle of the day if I want, love spending the weekend reading in bed and feel okay about the fact that I never answer my phone.
I understand it's not 100% foolproof but if you largely create your own guilt, only you can decide to let it go. The world will not stop spinning on its axis and there is no award for "World's Guiltiest Woman".
In fact, it's surprising how little anyone notices when you decide to give it up!
Here are my tips:
Denise Duffield-Thomas is a business coach for exceptional women and the author of Lucky Bitch. Get her popular free manifesting guide "The Lucky Bitch Secrets of Outrageous Success" at www.DeniseDuffieldThomas.com